MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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