The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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