I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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