He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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