whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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