A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
