ugly people sure do ruin things
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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