It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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