wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is wine microwaveable?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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