Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
