btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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