Whod you bang
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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