Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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