Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
