I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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