i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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