I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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