I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
