Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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