just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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