i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
