This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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