You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
