About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
