you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
