it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
