That's intense
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
