where am i from again
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
