So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
