I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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