it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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