it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
