you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
