on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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