So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
