I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
