I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
