Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I had to cum in my sink.
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