Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
