I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
