Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
