everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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