Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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