Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
