Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize