it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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