he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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