I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
