I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
