just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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