She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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