Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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